Is it just me, or do the birds seem to be singing a great deal more this Spring? Lately, I've been waking up with heaviness in my soul. I can't really explain it, just in those moments between deep slumber and total awakening, there's something dragging my soul down. Like gravity is suddenly a much greater force than it used to be, only it's not a physical gravity, but an emotional one.
Once I jump out of bed and get going for the day, I can push it all away and I seem to be okay. But occasionally, I stop during the day and wonder what is causing this. Is it the dreams I've been having? Is it something I'm lacking in my nutrition? Is it hormonal changes now that I'm almost 43 and heading down the inevitable perimenopausal path I would so love to avoid? Don't know the cause ... but I do know that somehow the joyful notes of a songbird will suddenly stop me in my tracks ... filling my heart with a sad delight, like never before. And being outside seems to open up a space in my soul as if the fresh air is able to reach deep inside me in cleansing waves.
Soft winds at work. Perhaps by the time the roses are in bloom, the heaviness will be swept away.
i hear ya.. i've been battling depression myself lately... a heaviness. lack of energy. discontent.
ReplyDeletei know where I need to go, and what I need to do... but knowing and doing are two different things, no? :)
Ah yes, some days there does seem to be a huge gulf between knowing what to do and actually doing it. :S I'm praying for both of us today my friend.
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